Gunsmoke 2000: What I Was Missing
by Toonces
Summary: A present day take on the episode The Way It Is.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Notes:_ This is a Gunsmoke story that takes place in the present with many of the same characters. I don't intend to change their personalities, but of course they have to get with the times. I have seen this done for another show I read fiction for and I thought it would be fun to bring the citizens of Dodge into the 21st century. I hope I don't ruin anyone's image of the original Gunsmoke. I had a lot of fun writing it and I just thought I would share it and of course, it mainly revolves around Matt and Kitty. Based on _The Way It Is._

Character Profiles:

Thirty-two year old _Matthew Dillon_ is a United States Marshal and somewhat of a loner by nature. He lives in a small and very modest apartment and he frequents the Long Branch Bar and Lounge. He has been a marshal for six years and due to the dangers of his job, he doesn't feel that he has a right to be involved in any permanent kind of relationship.

Twenty-eight year old _Kathleen Russell_ goes by the nickname Kitty. Originally from New Orleans, Louisiana, she is the full owner of the Long Branch and lives alone in a beautiful one-story home with her two dogs and cat in the country. She dates occasionally, but the man that she wants the most doesn't _seem_ to want her.

A Georgia native, thirty-one year old _Chester Goode_ is a regular visitor of the Long Branch. He is divorced with a little girl and lives in a small two-bedroom house in the suburbs. He used to work for the police department, but after only two years on the force, he was shot in the knee and forced to quit.

Doctor _Galen Adams_ is a graying old man pushing sixty. He has been frequenting the Long Branch since before Matt, Kitty, or Chester was even born. He is the Chief of Staff at the Dodge City Hospital.

**Gunsmoke 2000:** _What I Was Missing_

The wind picked up as Matt Dillon walked along the rainy streets of Dodge. He had been on duty for twelve hours straight, but even still he didn't feel like going home yet. He looked at his watch and saw that it was almost eleven-thirty. The Long Branch would still be open. The lights of the bar could be seen in the distance and he picked up his pace to hurry and get in out of the rain. Once inside, he shrugged off his wet jacket, hung it on the provided hook and ran a hand through his brown hair made darker from the rain. It was quiet inside, just how he wanted it, and he walked over to the bar ordering himself a beer. He flipped open his wallet, his U.S. Marshal's badge glinting in the lights, counted out three dollars and walked over to a booth in the back. The Long Branch was one of the classiest bars in town. The bar itself was made of fine mahogany wood as well as all of the tables and chairs. There was a jukebox in the corner and two pool tables in a connecting room. It was decorated mostly in a dark green color and the lights were always low, giving it a cozy feel. Matt took a good, long pull of his beer, not noticing right away when someone slid into the booth opposite of him.

"You want another?" asked the deep voice of a woman. Matt looked across the table into the big blue eyes of Kitty Russell. Her long red hair was tied back into a tight ponytail with some bangs covering her forehead. The stylish woman wore a beautifully designed, yellow sweater, a nicely fitted pair of dark blue jeans, and yellow pumps to complete the outfit.

"Kitty…how is it that you can still look so good after working all night?" Matt flirted as he took another swallow of his beer.

"Oh, I don't know," she said resting her forearms on the table top. "It probably helps when you own the place and can go home for a three hour lunch _and_ take a nap," she told him with a smirk. Matt chuckled and downed the last of his drink. "You want another?" she asked him again.

"Sure, why not," he answered. Kitty gestured over to Sam who was standing at the bar. It was near closing time and people were starting to trickle out and onto the damp streets. She looked back over at Matt who had his head resting against the back of the booth with his eyes closed. He was obviously exhausted.

"Matt, you're tired. You should have gone straight home," she lightly scolded.

"I thought you liked it when I stopped by to visit you," he said.

"You know I do," she started when Sam came over with two beers. She smiled her thanks and he walked over to bus a nearby table. "But your well-being is more important." Kitty cared for Matt deeply and no matter how much she looked forward to seeing him each night, she'd rather him go home and rest than come and sit all night with her.

"I know, Kitty," he said softly. "I just didn't feel like going home yet." He truly appreciated her concern. He wasn't sure if she realized it or not, but sometimes after a hard day, it was more of a comfort to come and sit with her than going home to an empty apartment. She helped to take his mind off of things.

Kitty ran a manicured fingernail through the condensation on her bottle as she spoke. "Doc stopped by earlier. He asked about you."

"How is old Doc?" Matt asked smiling at the thought of the cranky old man. "It's been a few weeks since I last saw him."

"He's good…same grumpy Doc," Kitty said smiling. "He came in complaining about something at the hospital and threatening to retire."

"Doc's never gonna retire. That stubborn old man will probably live forever." Doc was somewhat of a father figure to both Matt and Kitty, both having lost their parents at a young age.

"I'll drink to that," Kitty said, clinking her bottle with Matt's and taking a drink. "Listen, I need to go and help Sam and the others close up. You stay here and I'll drive you home when we're done," Kitty said as she stood from the booth and walked away, not giving him the chance to protest. Matt actually had no intentions of arguing with her tonight. What little energy he did have left was fading fast. Besides, he had taken a cab to get here and he didn't want to take another one home. Kitty came back a few moments later dressed in a brown leather jacket with a purse to match. "Ready?" she asked him.

"Yep," he said as he stood and walked over toward the front door to get his coat. Kitty was a pretty tall woman, but Matt still towered over her. She linked her arm through his and they left out the back to where her car was parked.

By the time they arrived at his apartment, Matt was fast asleep. Kitty parked her car and turned to face him. "Matt…wake up…you're home." She watched as his eyes opened and he looked over at her drowsy-like.

"Thanks for the ride, Kitty. I'll see you." Kitty watched him until he was safely inside the building and then took off for home. She worried about him and all of the hours he worked. She couldn't recall him taking one vacation in all the time she had known him.

Five minutes later, Kitty was driving down the long country road that led to her house. She purposely chose a location that was away from town, preferring the quiet nights as opposed to the hustle and bustle of the city. She got enough of that during working hours anyway. The nearest neighbor was two miles away and she was surrounded by farmland. She had a good three acres of her own and she spent a lot of her free time working in her garden. She wasn't filthy rich, but she had to admit that she made damn good money as owner of the Long Branch. It was five years ago that she had started working there.

_She had just driven all the way from New Orleans and her car was stuffed with everything she owned. She pulled into the parking lot of the Long Branch Bar and Lounge and went inside after eight long hours of driving. She intended to have a drink and maybe something to eat before finding a place to sleep and hitting the road again first thing the next morning. There was really no particular place she was going, but something inside of her needed to get out of Louisiana. A change was in order. She sat at the bar having her drink when someone sat down next to her. Looking over, she saw the biggest man she had ever seen ordering a beer and a plate of Buffalo wings. The man flipped his wallet open to pay and Kitty saw the silver U.S. Marshal's badge. He then grabbed his beer and made his way to a booth in back. Kitty sat sipping her drink and thinking about how much she was sick of driving. She then looked over to where the handsome marshal had gone. Maybe she could stay in Dodge for a while and see how things went. She looked up as the bartender, who she later learned was named Bill Pence, passed. "Hey," she had called to him, "You hiring?"_

She and Bill had become good friends and eventually she moved into the apartment above the bar. He often told her that she was like a daughter to him and when he died four years later, she was surprised to learn that he had left the Long Branch to her in his will. She made only a few changes, mainly concerning décor, and the place was as popular as ever. It was also in that time that she came to know and love Marshal Matthew Dillon.

Finally, Kitty could see her house in the distance thanks to the lighting system that was set to come on after dusk. She pulled her car into the garage and then went outside to the backyard where she could hear whining and groaning as she approached the large kennel. "Hi, girls! How are my babies?" Kitty said excitedly as she greeted her two girl boxers. As soon as she lifted the latch off the gate, the dogs pushed through and danced all around her, their hind quarters shaking furiously back and forth. "Come on. Let's go inside," she said to them and Thelma and Louise immediately took off toward the back door. Kitty reached it a few moments later and pulled her keys from her purse to unlock it. She stepped inside and tossed her keys and purse onto the island in the middle of the kitchen. The one thing she spent her money on besides clothes was her home. The kitchen was immaculately decorated in stainless steal appliances, white, see through cabinets, and the countertops were done in gray marble. And even though she didn't do much cooking, she had plenty of culinary tools at her disposal.

Walking into the living room, which was decorated in browns and beiges, she stopped by the sofa and kicked off her shoes while she shrugged out of her jacket, laying it across the arm of the couch. Next, she walked over to the windows and began shutting the curtains. That finished, she pulled her shirt over her head and walked into the bathroom, turning on the bright vanity lights that glinted off the massive mirror above the sink. Then she walked over to the huge bathtub and adjusted the water to the correct temperature. For some reason she always did enjoy a nice relaxing bath as opposed to a shower, but still, there was one standing on the other side of the room just in case there was no time for a bath. Kitty twisted her hair up into a bun and finished undressing. After a few minutes, she finally stepped into the warm bath and slid down, resting her head against the edge. She closed her eyes, practically falling asleep until she heard the soft meow of her portly, orange and white cat. "Hi, kitty, kitty," she said, even though the cats name was Ursula. She was kind of a mean cat at times, but Kitty didn't blame her considering she had two playful dogs to fend off. She watched as Ursula stood on her back legs and peered into the tub. She did it every time Kitty took a bath, like she was deciding whether to jump in or not. The cat then trotted out of the room and she grabbed her bath sponge deciding to finish before she really did fall asleep. It was pushing one-thirty and she knew that she needed to get to bed. Sam needed the morning off so she would have to go in and open.

A short while later, Kitty laid in her queen sized bed with Thelma, Louise, and even Ursula. Her thoughts drifted to Matt and she wondered if he was really okay these days. Work seemed to be getting to him more than usual and he hadn't been discussing his cases with her either. Maybe she would ask him to come over for dinner one day soon and help him to relax. He did always tell her that he loved her house and she knew that she would gladly share it with him if he would only say the word.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

_What I Was Missing_ Part 2

Doc walked into the Long Branch to find Kitty and Matt sitting at the bar together. Matt was looking into Kitty's eyes and grinning widely at something she just said. He tugged on his ear as he walked over to them. "When are you two gonna quit making eyes at each other and get together?" They both looked away embarrassed and said nothing as the ornery old man waved Sam over.

"What can I get for you, Doc?" Sam asked.

"I'd like the coldest beer you've got."

"Long time, no see, Doc," Matt said as he took a swallow of his beer. He had actually gotten off of work at a decent time for a change.

"What have you been doing with yourself?" he asked as he took a seat next to Kitty.

"He's been working himself to death, that's what," she answered Doc and shot Matt a disapproving look. "And I've invited him over to my place for dinner this weekend so he can relax for a change. You wanna come, Doc?" Kitty invited.

"No, I can't, Kitty. I've got a conference to go to this weekend. I will take a rain check though."

"Sure. Now, if you boys will excuse me, I've got some work I have to do," she said as she slid off of her bar stool and walked toward her office. Today, she was wearing a black skirt that came to just above the knee, a sleeveless, black top and black pumps to match. Her hair was left down around her shoulders. Doc shook his head as he watched her walk away.

"Matt, I don't see how on earth you can resist a woman that looks that good…unless of course…you're gay," he said not missing a beat.

"Doc!" Matt said not believing what the old man had just said.

"Well…why haven't you asked her out then?"

"For your information, Kitty and I have gone out plenty of times."

"Sure, as friends maybe, but nothing more," Doc pointed out.

"That's right!" Matt said. "Because that's what we are…friends…and as long as I'm a U.S. Marshal that's all we're gonna be." He knew how Kitty felt about him and he couldn't say that he didn't feel the same. She was pretty honest with him about it from the beginning, but how could he possibly be with her knowing that any day he could be killed on the job? He wasn't sure if he could live with that fact. He didn't want to leave a family behind if something were to happen to him.

"Kitty is a beautiful, smart, and _amazing_ woman, Matt." Doc looked down at the end of the bar and saw that Kitty had come out of her office and was helping Sam make drinks. "I bet you'll never meet another woman like her."

"Probably not, Doc," Matt said as he took another drink of his beer.

"Imagine all the beautiful children you could have with her," Doc said enticingly as he watched Matt out of the corner of his eye. He didn't mean to press Matt so much, but he had never seen two people who were so right for each other.

Matt looked over to where Kitty was, smiling beautifully and chatting with a customer. He would be lying if he said he had never thought about things like that with her, then he would remember his job and it would smother the thought. "Doc, I hope you didn't come in here tonight just to badger me," he said hoping to change the topic.

"No, I didn't, but you need a good badgering every now and then and I haven't seen you in nearly a month so I figured you were due for one," he said as Matt chuckled. Doc looked over to where Kitty was again. She was talking to a man with black hair and Doc was sure that he had seen him in the Long Branch on plenty of other occasions.

"Say, do you know who that man is that Kitty is talking to?" he asked Matt. Matt looked down the bar at the man.

"No, I don't recognize him. Why?"

"No reason. I see him in here quite a bit. Seems he's always talking to Kitty, too," Doc said wondering.

"Well, Doc, Kitty knows a lot of people and she has a lot of regular customers. He's probably just one of them," Matt said a little annoyed. Sometimes when Doc got going, he didn't stop. Besides, he figured that whatever went on, or didn't, between him and Kitty was their business.

"Well, I just know that if it were my girlfriend talking to some man I didn't know…" Doc trailed off.

"Kitty is _not_ my girlfriend," Matt said as he turned to stare incredulously at the old man. Doc took a swig of his beer and turned his head the other way as he held in a laugh. "Now can we please change the subject?" Matt asked as his eyes darted quickly to where Kitty was standing, still talking to the dark haired man.

"Fine, fine," said Doc. "How is work, really? Have you caught that Davis character yet?"

"Yes, we did," Matt said glad Doc wasn't hassling him anymore. "He was charged with two counts rape, two counts second degree murder, and a long list of drug charges." Frank Davis was a man that Matt and his team had been after for years. He had somehow always managed to stay one step ahead of them, but he finally slipped up and they caught him. It was one of the biggest raids he had ever been apart of. The man had enough drugs stashed at his house to start five different companies if he wanted to.

"Good thing he's off the street. What are you working on now?"

"Just more of the same, Doc. There seems to be a never ending supply of murderers and drug dealers to catch."

"I hear ya."

_**kMkMk**_

Later on that evening, Kitty and Matt sat at a booth having dinner. Kitty looked up from her plate and over at Matt. "Matt you've been here ever since you got off work. Aren't you tired?" she asked as she bit a French fry in half. Having gone home earlier to change, she was now dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a tight orange T-shirt with some tennis shoes. Matt swallowed his bite of hamburger and answered.

"Yeah, I'm tired alright, but I don't have any food at my place and you know I can't stand grocery shopping."

"Oh, I get it. You just hang around here for the free food and drinks," she kidded.

"Well, aside from the beautiful owner, what else is there to hang around for?" he smiled. Kitty returned his smile and they both continued to eat. She wondered if he had any idea how his comments like that affected her. There had always been a certain amount of friendly flirting in their relationship, but these days it only seemed to remind Kitty of what they could, but probably never would have together. She figured she would rather have his friendship than nothing at all though, so she never really made mention of how his comments made her feel. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable either.

For some reason, lately, relationships had been on her mind. She knew that she loved Matt without a doubt, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to wait around forever on the hopes that he would someday change his mind about her. She wasn't itching to be married, but it was something she would definitely consider with the right person. She eventually wanted someone to share her life with and maybe even children. The Long Branch certainly was good to her, but she wanted more than it in her life. She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Matt's voice. "What?" she asked, missing what he had said.

"That guy you were talking to earlier…when Doc was here," Matt said trying to be nonchalant in his questioning. The corner of Kitty's mouth lifted. She could see right through it. On the rare occasion that she did date, Matt was always bad at hiding his jealousy.

"Oh, what about him?" She wasn't going to make it easy for him.

"Do you know him?" Matt asked as he took a sip of his Coke having switched from beer hours ago.

"Yeah, a little. He's been coming in here lately."

"What's his name?"

"Adam Bellamy."

"Hm."

"Do you know who he is?" Kitty asked.

"No, I was just wondering." Kitty was about to say more when she looked over to see Chester limping toward them.

"Hi, Chester," she said with a smile as he approached their table. She scooted over so he could sit beside her.

"Hello, Chester," Matt greeted, very glad for the interruption.

"Howdy, Miss Kitty, Mr. Dillon." Chester was always so formal. Doc would always tease that he probably called his wife Mrs. Goode.

"What brings you by tonight, Chester?" Matt asked.

"Ohhh," he sighed, "Samantha is with her mother for the weekend and I just figured I'd come by and have a beer," he said, referring to his six year old daughter.

"How is Alison?" Kitty asked of Chester's ex-wife.

"She's just fine. She started a new job down at the post office last week."

"Good," Kitty said, knowing that Alison had been in between jobs for a few months. Chester and Alison had been married long before Kitty had come to Dodge and at one time, she was a waitress at the Long Branch. Even though they were divorced, they still remained civil toward each other for Samantha's sake. "So, Chester, Matt and I are having dinner at my place this weekend. You wanna come?" she asked him.

"Well, I sure would, Miss Kitty. Thank you," Chester said. "It'd be nice to get outta the house this weekend. You want me to bring anything?" he offered.

"Nope, just bring you," Kitty smiled. A waitress named Jane eventually came over to take Chester's order and now he was at the bar talking to her.

"I think Chester falls in love at least once a week," said Matt chuckling.

"I think you're right," Kitty agreed. They had long since finished with their dinner and she was about ready to call it a night. She let her head fall back against the booth and closed her eyes. Then she stretched her arms wide and gave a long purr. Matt watched her from his side of the booth and couldn't help but admire how pretty she was and the way her t-shirt strained when she stretched. She was absolutely the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Sometimes he thought himself crazy for not furthering their relationship, but then all of the reasons that he didn't would rush to the front of his mind. He thought about what Doc had said earlier about children. He bet that Kitty would look even more beautiful pregnant. "Let's get out of here," Kitty said, cutting through his thoughts. She stood and walked over to the bar and Matt stood as well following and blushing a little at what he was thinking about. He heard Kitty tell Chester and Sam that they were leaving.

"Alright, Miss Kitty. I'll be seein' you tomorrow then. You, too, Mr. Dillon…say you look a little flushed," Chester noticed and Matt mentally rolled his eyes. Leave it up to Chester.

"I'm fine, Chester. Just a little warm is all," Matt explained, hoping that the attention would veer away from him. Kitty looked over at him and gave a look of concern. She knew that he was the type to say nothing even if he was sick. Matt gave her a reassuring smile and they left.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kitty asked as he walked her to her car.

"I'm fine, Kitty. Honest." Kitty studied him for a moment and then raised a hand to his forehead.

"Alright," she said, convinced that he was telling her the truth. "I'll see you tomorrow." Matt opened her door for her and shut it once she was in. He watched until she drove off and then headed for his truck.

Matt arrived home a few minutes later and sorted through his keys as he walked up to the building. Once inside his apartment, he locked the door behind him and flipped on the lights. His apartment was rather small. The living room was big enough for a full couch, a desk and a television stand. The kitchen was tiny with a small slab of counter space, a sink and a stove. He didn't even have a microwave. He could afford better, but he saw no sense in moving considering the only thing he used the place for was sleeping. All of his other time was either spent working or at the Long Branch.

Right now, the place was a mess. _Kitty would kill me if she saw this_, Matt thought, not even realizing that the comment made them sound like a longtime married couple. There were papers scattered all over the desk, old newspapers piled next to the couch, and the dishes were way past needing to be done. He wasn't even sure how the place got so messy considering he barely spent any time there. "If I moved to a bigger apartment, then that would only give me more space to make an even bigger mess," he said as he looked around. With a sigh, he took off his jacket and tossed it onto the back of the couch. He made his way to the bedroom, finished undressing and plopped down onto the bed falling asleep quickly.

_**mKmKm**_

Kitty was up early the next day with plenty of rest and energy. She was looking forward to spending some leisure time with her friends. She sure wished that Doc had been able to make it though. On the menu were barbequed ribs, grilled shrimp kabobs, corn and pepper fritters, and red beans and rice. Matt told her that he loved it when she made red beans and rice. For dessert they were having peach cobbler. Her New Orleans roots came in handy when it came to cooking.

Chester had come by around three. It was a beautiful and sunny day, so they decided to sit out on the deck. "Miss Kitty, you know, you just have the best lookin' house I've ever seen," Chester complimented as he looked around the huge yard. The dogs were out and running around.

"Thank you, Chester," Kitty smiled as she got up to check the ribs. Today, she was wearing a pair of blue jean Capri's that showed off an ankle bracelet, a red tank top and some plain brown flip-flops.

"Who cuts all your grass?" he asked.

"I do. Who else?"

"Oh, I don't know. I figured maybe you hired a lawn service or somethin'. Ya know, I should have seen if Samantha wanted to come along. She just had a ball the last time she was at your house, Miss Kitty," said Chester referring to last Fourth of July.

"Oh, Chester, you should go and call Alison and see if it's okay. Dinner won't be ready for a while yet anyway," Kitty said wanting to see the precious little girl as well.

"Alright, I think I will." Chester called and cleared everything with Alison and was on his way. While he was gone, Doc called.

"Hello," Kitty said.

"_Kitty_," came Doc's voice.

"Doc? I thought you were out of town this weekend."

"_Well, I was supposed to be, but they canceled the conference. I thought I'd give you a call and see if I was still invited to dinner_."

"Of course," Kitty said happily. "You just get yourself on over here." They ended the call and Kitty walked into the kitchen to pull out the beer and put it into a cooler. While doing so, the doorbell rang. She walked into the living room to answer it and opened the door to find Matt on the other side. "Hi, Cowboy," she greeted him with a big smile. He looked good in a pair of khaki pants and a burgundy Polo shirt. Matt returned her smile and handed her a bottle of wine.

"I thought it might go nice with dinner," he told her as he stepped inside. The wonderful smells of grilling, wafting in through the open patio door, hit him full in the face.

"Thanks," Kitty said as she put it in the cooler as well. "Chester decided to go and get Samantha," she told him as she put a few sodas inside the cooler. "And it turns out that Doc will be able to make it after all," she yelled from the kitchen.

"Anything you need me to do," Matt asked as he walked over to where she was.

"Yeah, you can go and check the ribs," Kitty told him. She poured more ice into the cooler while Matt went to do as he was told. A few minutes later, Kitty heard a beeping noise. With a furrowed brow, she went to find Matt. "Did you hear th…" she trailed off as he came in through the patio with his pager in his hands. He looked up and saw the disappointment on her face.

"I'm sorry, Kitty. It's an emergency though. I have to get down to the office and see what's going on." He was just as disappointed as she was. It was the first day he had off in a long while and he was looking forward to spending it with Doc, Chester and mainly her.

"It's alright, Matt. Just go on…and be careful," she told him as he hurried out the front door. Kitty sighed and went out to check the food.

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

_What I Was Missing_ Part 3

Chester got back with Samantha just a few minutes before Doc arrived. After giving Kitty a big hug and Doc a kiss on the cheek, the little girl ran outside to play with Thelma and Louise. "Chester, are you sure she's gonna like what we're eating? Should I make something else for her?"

"Oh, no, Miss Kitty. Sam isn't picky at all. She'll eat whatever you put in front of her."

"Just like her father," Doc quipped. Kitty couldn't hold in her chuckle. Chester's appetite was legendary.

"Oh, hush, Doc."

Everything was ready to eat by five and they all sat out on the patio with filled plates. Doc leaned over and poked Kitty to get her attention. With a wink, he pointed over to Chester and Samantha who were busy gobbling down their food, barely taking the time to chew. Kitty held in a laugh and daintily bit into her rib.

"I tell ya, Miss Kitty," said Chester as he swiped up the last forkful of his peach cobbler, "You sure can throw down when you want to," he complemented. They had moved into the house now that it was dark and the mosquitoes were out.

"Thanks, Chester," she smiled. "Do you want some more?"

"Oh, no thank you. I couldn't eat another bite," he said leaning back in his chair and rubbing his full stomach. It was nearing ten o'clock. Samantha had long since fallen asleep after eating and running around with the dogs some more and was stretched out on Kitty's sofa. "I guess I'd better get Sam on home to her mother." Chester stood to go and get her.

"I'd better get going too, Kitty," said Doc with a toothpick dangling out of his mouth.

"Well, I hope you two enjoyed yourselves," she said as she walked them to the door. "We oughta do this more often." They all stepped outside just in time to see Matt's big, black truck pulling into the driveway. He parked and walked up to them. Chester greeted him and then went to put the still sleeping Sam in the car.

"Everyone's leaving so soon?" Matt joked.

"Oh, Matt, you don't _even_ know what you missed," Doc taunted. "Peach cobbler…ribs…red beans and rice…"

"Red beans and rice," Matt repeated with a pitiful look on his face. He looked at Kitty who had a small smile on her face. He hadn't eaten one thing all day and he was absolutely starving. "You didn't save me any?" he asked her. She was about to answer when Doc cut her off.

"What? Were we supposed to wait in the hopes that you _might_ make it back here tonight? Besides, what did you expect with Chester and Samantha here?" Kitty laughed out loud as Chester came back over, oblivious to Doc's teasing.

"Well, I'm gonna be headin' out now. I'll see you all later."

"Bye, Chester," Kitty said as she gave him a hug. "Drive safely. You, too, Doc," she said, giving him a hug as well. She and Matt stood outside watching as they drove away.

"I can't believe you didn't save me any," Matt whined as they walked back into the house. He took off his U.S Marshal's jacket and his firearm, sitting it on the coffee table.

"Oh, shush, you know I saved you some." Kitty walked into the kitchen and pulled out a heaping plate from the oven. "I even kept it warm for you." Matt came over and took the plate from her happy as a lark.

"Thanks, Kitty." He sat the plate on the island and sat himself down on one of the stools.

"What would you do without me?" Kitty said as she sat down next to him and watched him eat.

"I have no idea," Matt said sincerely, even though the moment was light. Kitty only smiled.

"So, what was the emergency about?" she asked.

"We got a tip on a man named Harold Vasquez. He's wanted for murder in three different states and a long list of other charges. Someone spotted him across town and we went to get him," Matt told her. Kitty listened as the dangers of his job ran across her mind. It worried her every time he had to rush out on some call and when he didn't stop by the Long Branch for days on end. She would be his number one supporter if he ever decided to quit, but she knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She knew that his work was important to him and she always tried to be understanding and caring, but sometimes it was hard. Her mind wandered back to five months ago when she got a call from the hospital.

"_Hello," she said answering her cell phone as she did some paperwork. She hadn't bothered looking at the caller I.D._

"_Kitty, its Doc."_

"_Hey, Doc, What can I do for ya?" she said, happy to hear from him._

"_Well, I need you to come over to the hospital…its Matt." Kitty immediately sobered up._

"_Doc, what is it?" _

"_Now, calm down, Kitty. He's doing just fine. It's only a flesh wound, but he's taken some drugs for the pain and he needs a ride home."_

"_I'll be right there, Doc." She hung up and rushed right over._

It turned out to be just like Doc had said. A bullet had taken out a good chunk of Matt's side. It took everything she had not to cry when she walked in and saw him sitting shirtless on a gurney with his side all bandaged up; and he looked _so_ tired. She knew she was being emotional, but she was so relieved that it wasn't more serious and she dreaded the day that she got a phone call and it _would_ be something more serious.

"Hey, where did you go?" Matt said as he waved a hand in front of her face. She looked at him and he gave her a smile.

"Nowhere…guess I'm just tired," she told him. She looked down to see that he was just about done with his dinner. "You want more?" she asked him.

"No, thanks. I'll be done just as soon as I finish this cobbler," he said and reached for the bowlful. He took a big forkful and practically hummed with pleasure.

"Good?" Kitty asked with a smile.

"Delicious."

"I haven't had any yet."

"Here." Matt scooped up a little and fed it to her.

"Mmm. I can really throw down when I want to," she said, repeating Chester's word from earlier.

_**mKmKm**_

Matt sat his beer on a coaster on the coffee table, sighed and plopped down onto one end of the couch. "Kitty, I could stay here forever." She sat in the opposite corner and stretched her legs out in the space between them. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that he could stay forever, but she held back, not wanting to hear his tirade about why he couldn't. She looked down at her painted toes and wiggled them. "You've got freckles everywhere don't you?" Matt said. She looked up to see him looking at the exposed part of her legs.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kitty said with a raised eyebrow. She grinned evilly when Matt blushed and looked away.

He decided to change the subject. "I'm really sorry I got called away today."

"It's okay. You can make it up to me."

"How?"

"You can cut my grass for me." Kitty yawned and leaned against the back of the couch. Matt grabbed his beer and downed the rest of it.

"Deal," he said. "I guess I'd better hit the road." He stood and grabbed his jacket and gun. Kitty stood, too and walked him to the door.

"I'll see you later, Matt," Kitty said as they stopped at his truck. He put his stuff inside and then turned back to her.

"Don't I get a hug?" he asked remembering the hugs she gave Doc and Chester.

"Come 'ere," she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. Matt smiled and hugged her back. He sure wasn't making things easy for his self. "I'll do you one even better," Kitty said as she reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek. Matt turned his head to look at her and it became a kiss on the lips instead. The friendly mood immediately changed and they were both reluctant to pull away. They still had their arms around each other and Kitty reached up to kiss him again, stronger this time. She felt him respond and he tightened his hold on her. Matt knew that they shouldn't be doing it, but he couldn't make himself stop. Kitty tasted so good and it was like he was instantly addicted to her. Kitty felt his tongue at her lips and she immediately opened for him, her tongue flickering against his. They stood there for minutes before Matt finally pulled away. He looked down at her, her breathing hard and her lips wet from his kisses. She was stunning. He closed his eyes to regain his senses and all of the reasons came rushing forward.

Kitty watched as Matt opened his eyes. She could immediately feel a change in him. "Kitty…"

"Don't," Kitty said as she loosened her hold on him.

"Kitty, we can't…" Matt said anyway. He saw the hurt in her eyes and it broke his heart. The hurt turned into anger and she backed away from him.

"Fine," she said simply. "Run for the rest of your life." With that she turned around and walked back into the house, shutting and locking the door behind her. She stood just on the other side and after a few minutes she heard Matt start his truck and drive away. Kitty walked toward the back door and out to the kennels to let the dogs in. They danced all around her in their excitement to see her, but she ignored them. Once back in the house, she went into the bathroom and ran some water in the tub. She stripped down naked and climbed in. A few minutes later, she reached forward to turn off the water. Then, Ursula, who had been MIA all day, strolled in and peered up and over the edge of the tub and then strolled back out. Kitty tracked the cat's movements with a blank face as she walked out of the bathroom. Her eyes became glued to the last spot she saw the feline as she walked out of sight. She blinked once and the tears began to fall.

_**kMkMk**_

Just as she suspected she wouldn't, Kitty didn't see Matt at the Long Branch the next day or even the next few days after that. She was beginning to wonder if he would ever come there again. She stood from her desk and stretched out all of her kinks. Lately, most of her time had been spent doing paperwork and going over the books. It gave her something to think about besides Matt. A lot of times, when it came to paperwork, she would go out on the floor and sit at a table and do it, but lately she wasn't in the mood to mingle with anyone.

Kitty made her way out of the office and to the bar. "I sure would love a beer, Sam," she told the barkeep as she took a seat on one of the stools.

"Sure thing, Miss Kitty." She smiled her thanks as she watched him. She had hired Sam not long after Bill died. He had come in looking for a job and she immediately liked the older man. He told her that he had experience in bartending and that he was looking for something to keep himself busy since his wife had died not long ago. Kitty knew that if she ever needed Sam for anything at all, he would be there.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Kitty turned and came face to face with Adam Bellamy. His brown eyes crinkled as he smiled at her.

"Hi, Adam. You're here early today." He usually never showed up before eight. He was a tall, handsome man with black hair and brown eyes. He had been coming into the bar regularly and he always sought Kitty out immediately. Something about him could make a woman feel like _such_ a woman. He paid her plenty of compliments and his attention was always for her alone.

"Well, I got a little free time and I figured I would use it to come and see the most beautiful woman in the world," he sweet talked. Kitty only smiled. "You know, Kitty, I just don't understand it. You're a good lookin' woman…easy for a man to talk to…you ought to be beatin' 'em back with a stick." Kitty laughed at his choice of words, but didn't really respond. Aside from Sam, no one knew that there was rarely a night that went by where she didn't get a marriage proposal or at least an invitation for a romantic dinner.

"How about a drink?" she offered, changing the subject.

"Sure," he accepted. They sat quietly for a few moments and then Adam asked, "Kitty, I know a nice little restaurant about two miles from here. I'd love it if you'd join me tomorrow night?" Kitty sat for a few minutes thinking about it. The night of the cookout ran through her mind foremost and she knew now that nothing would ever be between herself and Matt. Before, she always hung on to someday, but that night forced her to let go of that hope. She looked over at Adam as he waited for her answer. He was a nice man and he made her feel special. Kitty knew that she couldn't put her life on hold anymore and she agreed.

"I think that'd be nice, Adam." He gave her another of his eye-crinkling grins as they made plans.

_**kMkMk**_

One week had passed and Chester sat at the end of the bar, watching as Miss Kitty and Adam Bellamy sat closely at a table talking and laughing. He didn't like it one bit and he didn't like the fact that Mr. Dillon knew nothing about it. "Doc? What do you think about those two?" he asked the old man.

Doc sat nursing a scotch. He looked over to where Kitty and Adam were. "Well, Chester, I think they're over there enjoying themselves."

"When did Mr. Dillon say he was gonna be back?"

"He didn't say, Chester. He just said that he had to leave town for a while on business," Doc said, remembering Matt's call to him a little over a week ago.

"I can't believe she's carryin' on like this."

"Like what, Chester!" Doc yelled, sick of talking about it. "Kitty is a grown woman and nobody owns her. If she wants to see this Adam fellow then she has every right."

"I know, Doc, but what would Mr. Dillon say if he were here?"

"If _Mr. Dillon_ was here," Doc said swiping at his mustache, "Then he would see what he was missing." Chester didn't say anything because he knew Doc was right, but it still galled him to see Miss Kitty with someone else. He turned around to face Doc as he saw Kitty approaching the bar.

"Here she comes."

"Hi, Doc, Chester," Kitty said with a big smile. "I didn't see you two up here. You should have come over to the table."

"Well, Miss Kitty, we didn't want to interrupt anything."

"Nonsense," Kitty told Chester as she ordered two beers. "Why don't you two join us?"

"Oh, I can't Kitty," said Doc as he finished his drink. "I need to get this tired old body to bed."

"How about you, Chester?" she asked hopefully. Chester's first instinct was to decline, but Kitty insisted.

"Well, alright. Maybe just for a few minutes."

"You get home safely, Doc. We'll see you later," Kitty told him as she ushered Chester to the table. Chester sat down a little uncomfortably and smiled politely at Adam.

"Hello again, Chester," said Adam. They had already met earlier in the week. Kitty sat the beers on the table and took her seat as well.

"Chester's gonna join us for a while," she told Adam.

"Well, just for a few minutes, Miss Kitty." He looked over at Adam who was looking at him.

"We understand if you need to leave, Chester." Kitty's brow furrowed a little and Chester only stared back at Adam.

"Well, maybe I will leave."

"Chester, stay," Kitty said putting her hand on Chester's forearm. She hadn't seen him in a while and she wanted to talk with him. "Adam didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"I meant it just like it sounded," Adam said, continuing to glare. Kitty looked over at him shocked. Chester stood.

"I'll see you, Miss Kitty." They both watched as he walked over to the jukebox in the corner.

"Adam, what in the hell was that all about?" Kitty asked appalled at the way he treated Chester.

"Kitty, I wanted to be with _you_ tonight."

"Well maybe you had just better be _alone_ tonight," she said standing up and walking toward her office. Adam sat for a moment in disbelief. Things had been going so well for the past week and a half. They had gone to dinner on a few occasions, he stopped by the bar practically every night, and Kitty had even let him kiss her. Now, she dared to walk away from him. He glared once again in Chester's direction and then stood to follow her. He grabbed her arm as he reached her.

"Wait a damn minute. You can't just walk away from me. You spend all this time teasin' me and you think you can just walk away!" he spat. Kitty stared at him like he was crazy. Chester walked closer to where they were just in case Adam decided to get violent.

"You take your hands off of me," she told him, her mouth tight. She yanked her arm away and stared him down.

"This isn't over, Kitty." He watched as she stormed away into her office. Chester watched as Adam ran a hand through his hair in frustration and stormed out of the bar.

Kitty sat on the couch in her office trying to get a grasp on what just happened. Maybe Adam wasn't as nice as she thought he was. All of a sudden he was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She knew that she needed to go and apologize to Chester, but right now she needed to be alone. One thing was for sure, things were over between her and Adam. She had no intentions of getting caught up with someone who was obviously mentally unstable.

She leaned back into the couch and sighed deeply. All in the last ten minutes, everything had gone out of control. She hadn't seen Matt since the night of their kiss and she was missing him something terrible. She knew that maybe they needed a break, but she would have thought that he would come back around by now. No matter how frustrating he was, he was still her best friend and she still loved him and missed him. Wherever he was, she just hoped that he was safe.

Kitty's thoughts drifted back to Adam. Now that she thought about it, she probably never should have gone out with him in the first place, aside from what had happened tonight. It was nice having someone pay attention to her and for a while Adam could make her forget about Matt, but then the evening would end and she would go home, sit in her bath and all thoughts of him would come rushing back to her. She didn't think that there was anyone in the world who could ever erase what she felt for him and the thought made her angry. She was ruined for anyone else.

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

_What I Was Missing_ Part 4

Matt unlocked his door and stepped into the dark apartment. He could see the red light of his answering machine blinking and he turned on the lights. He dropped his travel bag by the door and tossed his keys onto the desk. Then he shrugged out of his jacket and finally hit the play button.

"_Mr. Dillon, this is Chester. I know that you're probably not there right now, but give me a call when you get in from outta town."_

Beep!

"_This is Chester again, Mr. Dillon. It's real important that I talk to you just as soon as possible. It isn't a huge emergency or anything like'at, but its very import'nt. Give me a call."_

Beep!

"_Me, again. To tell you the truth, Mr. Dillon, it's about Miss Kitty. She's not hurt or anything like'at. I don't mean to scare you none. But there's somethin' goin' on and I just feel like you should know about it."_

Matt sighed as the messages ended. He had to admit that his curiosity was peeked, but he knew that Chester had the tendency to overreact about a situation. He knew one thing though…he sure had missed Kitty. He absolutely hated the way he had left things, but duty called and he had to go out of town. Initially, he had avoided the Long Branch, feeling that they both needed a few days to themselves, but he hoped that Kitty didn't think he was avoiding her all this time.

Matt walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He stripped down and stepped into the hot spray, the water cascading down his tired muscles. He thought about Kitty's huge bathtub and he wished that he was relaxing in it instead. She had been on his mind constantly and he couldn't stop thinking about the kiss they had shared. He knew he would be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss her again…and much more. He let out a deep groan at his body's physical reaction to his thoughts and reached to the knob to make the water temperature cooler. Finally, he finished washing and climbed into bed naked, barely even taking the time to dry off.

He had done a lot of thinking while he was away and he knew that Kitty was right about at least one thing. He was running scared. With past girlfriends it was easy to justify to them why a permanent relationship wasn't possible, but with Kitty it was different. Doc had once told him that of all the women that had ever been in Matt's life, Kitty was the only one who was strong enough to be with him. Kitty Russell was the total package. She was everything that a woman should be. She was tougher than leather one minute and she was a girly girl the next. He had seen her stand up to plenty of guys twice her own size and he had seen her run like a sissy from a spider. He hadn't understood at first, but Doc went on to explain that a woman like Kitty was something rare. She wasn't the type who would try to change him and she wasn't the type to try and give him ultimatums. She wasn't faultless, but she wasn't far from it either, especially in Matt's eyes.

"_Kitty knows how to let you be a man, Matt and she would help you to become an even better man,"_ _Doc told him._ "_She is the only woman that I have ever seen you with that is strong enough to handle the dangers of your job. If you don't let that girl know how you feel…" Doc said vehemently. He shook his head and pulled on his ear, "Then you're a darn fool." _

Of course, Matt hadn't listened. He continued to convince himself that a family didn't equate into his line of work. He had seen so many good men die in the line of duty and he had seen their wives at their funerals and how utterly defeated they looked. He didn't want to do that to Kitty and he told Doc as much.

"_Matt, that's life," the old man responded. "Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, but that doesn't mean we stop living. If you continue to deny yourself then you'll be doing just that. You'll only be living half of your life and that, my friend, is no way to live." _

Matt dozed as he thought about Doc's words from so long ago and he knew that he was right. All of his reasons were starting to sound flimsy even to him. He knew that it was time he and Kitty had a serious talk. Just before he fell into a deep sleep, he remembered something else Doc had said that night.

"_I've been alive for a longtime, Matt and I've seen a lot of things, but never in my life have I seen _anything_ like what I see when you and Kitty are together." _

_**kMkMk**_

It was nearing six o'clock the next evening and Kitty had seen no signs of Adam, which was a good thing. She hoped that she never had to see him again. She sat at a table in the back with a glass of ice water doing some work and never even noticed when someone came in and walked toward her. A hand came to rest on her shoulder and she jumped. She turned around to see Matt standing there. "Matt," Kitty sighed with relief. "You scared me." Once she had calmed down from the scare, her heart began beating faster due to his presence. What if he came to tell her that they couldn't be friends anymore? She wasn't sure if she could live with that.

"Kitty, I need to talk to you," he said softly. Kitty glanced up at him.

"Okay, we can go into the office." If this was to be the end of them, she didn't want it to be in front of a bunch of strangers. She gathered up her things and led the way. Once inside, she sat her things on her desk and kept her back to him. "What is it, Matt?" she asked.

Matt watched her as she nervously fidgeted with stuff on her desk. He had already talked to Chester earlier in the day and he knew all about Adam Bellamy. He wondered if that was why she seemed so nervous. He walked up behind her quietly and placed his hands on her shoulders.

She couldn't help but relax at his touch.

"Kitty…" he whispered. She slowly turned around and stared up at him with uncertainty. "I can't stop thinking about that kiss," he told her as his hands slid down to her waist pulling her against him. That was the last thing that she expected to hear come out of his mouth and Matt hadn't planned on saying it either, but it sort of just tumbled out.

"What?" Kitty asked dumbfounded. She could only watch as Matt slowly leaned down to her. Her eyes shut of their own accord and soon after she felt his warm breath on her parted lips.

Matt leaned in the rest of the way and captured Kitty's lips with his own. If at all possible, she tasted even better than before. He felt her arms wrap around his neck and her fingers in his hair. He deepened the kiss and his tongue caressed hers. It was only the second time that they had ever shared a kiss, but something about it seemed so familiar to both of them. They only pulled away due to the need to breath. Kitty rested her head on Matt's chest and he hugged her tight. "I love you, Kitty," he told her softly. He was full of surprises tonight. Kitty leaned back and looked into his eyes finding passion and sincerity and tears came to her own eyes.

"You certainly know how to make a girl speechless, Cowboy," she told him in a shaky voice. She rested her head back on his chest squeezed him tight. "I love you, too, Matt."

"You were right, Kitty. I _was_ scared, but I'm through with that now. I wanna be with you and I want you to be my girl," he told her, kissing the top of her head.

Kitty sighed and reveled in the feel and smell of him. "I've always been your girl, Matt. It just took your dense male brain a while to figure it out." She smiled up at him and he grinned back. They were going to be _so_ good together.

A while later they were seated on the couch, kissing and touching and enjoying this new aspect of each other. Kitty's hand was rubbing Matt's thigh and gradually moving higher. "If you keep that up we're gonna end up making love right here on this couch," he told her as he placed a light kiss on her ear.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Kitty said even though she redirected her caresses.

"I don't want our first time together to be in your office."

"No? Where at then?" she asked him playfully.

"You're bad."

"You like it."

"I know it." They sat quietly for a while. Kitty knew that she should tell him about Adam.

"Matt, why did you stay away so long?" she asked instead.

"I did for the first few days, but after that I had to go out of town. Didn't Doc or Chester tell you?" he asked confused.

"No. I haven't seen much of them in the past two weeks. There's something I should tell you, Matt…"

"It's alright, Kitty. Chester already told me." The look Kitty gave him could have melted ice.

"Ya know, I love Chester dearly, but he _really_ needs to learn how to mind his own business," she said, peeved at Chester's nosiness.

"I know, you're right, but I think he was really worried this time. He told me what Adam said." He hooked a finger under her chin and looked her in the eye. "I want you to tell me if he bothers you again," he told her seriously.

"I will, Matt," Kitty said feeling protected. "And I want you to know…nothing _happened_ between me and Adam. We only went out a few times and he came by to visit me a lot. He was such a nice man at first, but just like that…he changed. I guess he was two men."

"It's alright, Kitty," Matt said simply as they sat a while longer.

"Come on," she said pulling out of his arms and standing up, "Let's go have a drink."

"I think I need something to eat first," he told her as he stood and took her hand. They walked out of the office talking quietly and made their way to the bar, not noticing anyone else.

"So, that's how it is, huh, Kitty?" said Adam from behind them and looking down at their joined hands. He took a long drink of the beer in his hand. Matt and Kitty both turned to look at him.

"Look, Adam, I don't want any trouble in here," she told him. It was amazing how fast he had become a pest. "You don't own me and I never did one thing to lead you on." Matt stepped up and stood in front of her. Adam only continued to stare at the two of them.

"Why don't you get outta here, Bellamy, before someone gets hurt?" All of a sudden, Adam threw his beer bottle and lunged at Matt. The bottle shattered at Kitty's feet and Matt knocked into her causing her to fall. He regained his balance and swung, hitting Adam in the jaw. He then grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. He pushed him toward the door and warned, "You better not come back here again and I had better not catch you even ten feet from her! You do come back and I'll arrest you myself," Matt threatened. He wanted to pummel the man, but his being an officer of the law held him back.

"Oh, I get it. You're a cop, huh? Well, that's just fine. Kitty is nothin' but a bitch anyhow! You'll see," Adam said as he rubbed his bruising jaw. Matt said nothing and watched him until he got in his car and sped away. He turned to go back inside and found Kitty standing at the end of the bar with Sam wrapping her hand in a towel.

"What happened?" he asked rushing over.

"I guess I put my hand in the broken glass when I went to get up from the floor," Kitty explained. Matt carefully removed the reddening towel and inspected the damage. There were two larger pieces of glass and some smaller shards poking out of her hand.

"Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital," he said ushering her out of the bar.

"Wait. Go into the office and get my purse," Kitty told him. Matt did as he was told and then rushed her out to his truck.

_**kMkMk**_

Kitty scrunched her face up and bit her lip as Doc pulled out the larger pieces. He then grabbed a pair of tweezers with incredibly fine points and held her hand under a magnifying glass to pull out the smaller shards. The f-word was on the tip of her tongue as he began to prod for them. Matt was sitting next to her and he lightly rubbed her back trying to comfort her as best he could.

After Doc had finally removed all the glass, he walked her to the sink so he could rinse her hand. Then he retrieved a bottle of antibacterial disinfectant spray. "This is gonna sting, Kitty." She nodded her head in understanding. Doc sprayed her hand and this time the f-word slipped on out.

Ten minutes later, Doc had finally finished and Kitty was now sporting white bandages wrapped around her right hand, only the tips of her fingers and her thumb poking out. "I'm not gonna be able to get any work done like this," she said, her bottom lip pouting. "I can't even write anything."

"Good," Doc said. "The easier you take it the faster you'll heal."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Lay around all day and watch TV?"

"…yeah…" chorused Doc and Matt. Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry," Matt said as he leaned over to kiss her temple. "I'll see if I can't get a few days off and help you."

"Really?" Kitty asked perking up at the possibilities. Matt nodded. Doc watched the two of them and they seemed to be chummier than usual.

"Say, what's all this?" he asked gesturing at them. Matt smiled brightly and wrapped an arm around Kitty's waist.

"I finally took your advice, Doc." The old man smiled and shook his head.

"It's about dog on time, Matt."

**The End.**


End file.
